quinta-feira, setembro 15, 2011

Cigarette Countdown #18

Agora é sair. É andar em direção ao que sempre esteve lá.
Ao abrir a porta um ar frio me convida a voltar para o quente fogo do quarto. Marrepio com o sopro hostil da manhã e com sua cabeça tocando minhas costas me fazendo ir. E vou...

Como eu não ouvi estes ruídos antes? A cidade sempre esteve lá e nós ignoramos tudo ao redor. Foi isso que nos tornou possível? Apagar todo o entorno, nos descolar do real... e deslocar para fora, para o fino da pele, tudo o que está dentro. E atingir o que se esconder dos olhos da rua. O que você tocou nesta noite foi o meu avesso, aquela que se tem quando todo resto já não mais importa, não mais existe. 


Desviando de copos quase vazios, corpos quase frios, ultrapassamos a manhã da sala. Você flutua a procura de suas chaves, casaco e restos de ontem. E eu, tento achar meu lugar entre seus pertences. 
Paro no espelho do corredor. Me deparo. Sou eu bagunçada, remexida, embaralhada. Ajeito meu cabelo, ajeito um novo cigarro entre os dedos, ajeito um jeito de te dizer um quase adeus, quase triste, quase ficando mais um pouco. Curioso como minhas estórias tem sempre sido um eterno quase. E quando quase decido ir de vez, sem olhar para trás, sem últimos desejos, sinto você como se não desse mais pra me desvencilhar. São suas mãos procurando as minhas, são seus dedos se entrelaçando aos meus, roubando lentamente meu cigarro, os últimos minutos de nós, definitivamente. 
Nos viramos, eu e você, nos admirando no espelho do corredor, encantadas com a imagem dos nossos lindos avessos,  querendo desesperadamente um final feliz.




FIM DO DÉCIMO OITAVO CIGARRO


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